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Freaking out a little

Sep. 29th, 2010 | 09:02 am
mood: crazy crazy

Ok so this is the deal the other day I was pissed that I was just like the other girls but will always be treated differently. Now last night in class I was looking at them all and was freaking out I will never be one of them. I am on this crazy roller coaster of I am one of the girls! O my God I cant be one of the girls! I am nut job after all.....

Pissed off

Sep. 25th, 2010 | 01:12 pm
mood: angry angry

So after 39 years of hating myself and hating everyone around me I decided to finally admit openly I am trans.
I have set about restoring my body and mind from years of self neglect and abuse I have put myself through. I am back in college and seeing a therapist. The other day I was in my first day of class and it hits me I am no different than all these other woman. I am looking at about 39 women of every size, shape and style.
From the punk chicks to the prepy girls all of them have a unique look and style. Now here is where I get pissed.
If any of them want to change a physical feature ether through makeup, hair style, or as drastic as surgery. Our culture has no problem with it. If any of them wanted to go get some implants they need a simple consultation and then to schedule the surgery. All I want to do is the same thing. I want to make my self look like the person I am on the inside. It just takes a little more work, time and money to get the same results. So why do I need to be diagnosed with a disorder to go about it. If you ask me its our culture that has the disorder. I am just trying to be me.
I have spent most of my life trying to fit the boy mold I was shoved into and now that I finally come out I have a disorder. F*ck that! I don't have a disorder at most I have a birth defect and in my opinion thats even pushing it. So yes I am pissed off! I want to tell my therapist to get bent and just leave my head alone. I don't need a shrink I need to be me. But O no... If I want to get hormones or surgery I need to be a good little girl and play the game, wasting more of my life and money. I am done playing by other peoples games by there rules. The ball is in my court now and I am going to crush that f*cker. Why does the trans community keep playing this game? Why are we not in the streets saying hay f*ck off this is my body not your body. Who are you to choose what I do with it?
So Ya I am pissed. What about you?

On the road again

Aug. 19th, 2009 | 02:27 pm

Off to Seattle for the rest of the week!

my sorority

Aug. 1st, 2009 | 11:44 pm

The sorority for girls who are sitting on a secret.....

I'm Back!

Jul. 28th, 2009 | 09:27 am
mood: chipper chipper

I'm back. Life tried to kill me, but I have crawled out of the grave to fight again.

Go ME!

Jun. 8th, 2006 | 06:58 am
mood: happy happy

My diet is going great! I have lost 3" off my chest, 2" off my waist and 2" off my hips. Go Me! Next mesurements on 7/6/06


Jun. 1st, 2006 | 08:18 pm
mood: happy happy

A big hug and hello to Avonk.


Jun. 1st, 2006 | 08:13 pm
mood: chipper chipper

Life is good right now. I am sticking to my diet and I am down to about 1200 calories a day. The strange thing is I cant really eat any more. If I eat more than about three bites I am so full I want to puke. I may not be posting for a while as I am going to be busy as hell.

(no subject)

Jun. 1st, 2006 | 08:03 pm
mood: bored bored

You scored as Industrial/Rivet-Head. You're a rivet-head. You like industrial music, warehouses, and you are a minion of the machines.






Death Rocker


Anything-Goes Goth


Perky Goff


Romantic Goth


Old-school Goth


Ethereal Goth


Fantasy Goth


Confused Outsider


Understanding Outsider


What subcategory of Goth best fits you?
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Story time

May. 31st, 2006 | 11:02 am
mood: crazy crazy

A painful yet funny story about coming out.
My sister in-law found out why I was leaving my wife.......

Sister in-law: " Why the fuck would you want to be a little queer ass fagot?"
Me: I'm not a fagot. I am a transsexual, that and I don't evan like guys
Sister in-law: So what? That makes you some kind of lesbian?
Me: well sort of....
Sister in-law: Your nothing but a freak!
Me: I may be a freak but I look better than you!
Sister in-law: I, bet, you, do! 
Me: ...........LOL ROFL!  (Now I know there is two ways to take that but it just killed me.)
Sister in-law: Whats so fucking funny?

yep thats me ...

May. 23rd, 2006 | 10:58 am
mood: tired tired

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(no subject)

May. 23rd, 2006 | 10:38 am
mood: sleepy sleepy

Bleh........then BLECK!
Went out clubbing on sat. Drank way way way to much.
Hung over so hard on sunday that I puked all morning. I am never ever doing that again.
I will go clubbing. I will dance. I will party. I am not drinking any more.


May. 17th, 2006 | 01:50 pm
mood: scared scared

Ummmm..... Ya this is me.... Yes I'm trans.